Has Your Relationship Changed So Much That You Barely
Do you continue to have the same fight over and over, hoping that each time will be the last, only to have it happen yet again because your partner still isn’t listening to you?
Has the intimacy between you and your partner vanished, even though you both say that you miss it?
Is divorce in the back of your mind because you can’t imagine your life continuing this way, yet thinking about life without your partner feels just as heartbreaking?
Obstacles Can Challenge Your Relationship
Perhaps you occasionally reflect on the early days of your relationship when things seemed “easy” in comparison to how you feel today. Maybe this was before you had kids, dealt with ongoing stress in the workplace, or grappled with an affair that turned your relationship on its head.
When the honeymoon phase of a relationship ends and day-to-day stressors take precedence, it can be easy to fall into negative behavioral patterns and poor communication cycles. If you’re lacking intimacy, you may even feel more like roommates than romantic partners. And when you don’t know how to fix the dynamics, frustrations continue to build.
If your needs aren't met, you may start thinking about separation or divorce. But if you and your partner are truly committed to working on your relationship, you can strengthen your bond and heal together. Through couples therapy, you can turn over a new leaf in your relationship.
Most Couples Go Through Shifts In Their Level Of Connection
If you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s normal that you and your partner will experience ups and downs together. As time goes on, and your life becomes more demanding, your relationship will feel these growing pains. Maybe it was a promotion at work that came with longer hours, an aging parent moving in, or the birth of a child.
No matter what changes in your shared life, you and your partner might internalize the experiences differently, which can interfere with your connection. You might struggle with a lack of support, worry that you can’t trust your partner, or wonder if you’ve fallen out of love with each other.
It Can Be Hard To Break Ongoing Patterns
When you don’t feel connection, support, love, and trust, it will inevitably impact your attachment and connection with your partner, and you will begin to pull away from each other. With that, communication breaks down, intimacy disappears, and stress increases, which only fuels these negative feelings and leaves you stuck in an emotional rut.
This is the toxic relationship cycle, and it is more common than many couples realize. For a while, you might try to simply live with it, until it’s just too much. Eventually, you’ll have to make changes as a team. By working with a supportive couples therapist, you can rebuild your connection with your partner and move forward together.
Couples Therapy Can Help You Break Free From The Toxic Relationship Cycle
Almost every couple will experience this toxic relationship cycle at some point within the course of their relationship. Some couples are able to self-correct, while others need assistance to learn healthier strategies for tackling challenges together.
What To Expect In Couples Counseling Sessions
Our goal is to give you and your partner a safe and caring space so that you can identify the root causes of your toxic relationship cycle. Your therapist will meet with you and your partner to gain a better understanding of the cycle that you are stuck in and choose the approach that will be the best for your specified situation. Through couples therapy sessions, you’ll gain the tools you need to break the cycle and find out how to protect your relationship from entering the cycle again in the future.
Learning healthy communication strategies and problem-solving techniques takes time, of course. But by doing so, you can change your relationship for the better. In time, you’ll be able to solve problems by deepening your connection, support, love, and trust in one another.
Customizing Approaches To Couples Therapy
At The Therapeutic and Wellness Solution Center, our therapists apply different approaches to couples counseling based on their training and 15+ years of experience.
Some of our marriage therapists utilize Emotion-Focused Therapy, which helps couples go deeper than surface-level conflicts to discover the underlying attachment challenges within the relationship and ultimately foster a more satisfying connection. Other therapists might apply the Gottman Approach, which teaches couples to boost total communication and reduce conflict by creating understanding and empathy for one another.
Furthermore, some of our marriage counselors emphasize Family Systems therapy to assist couples in working through conflict by resolving challenges from the context of their family backgrounds. While others draw from Solution-Focused Therapy to pinpoint and address the exact problems preventing connection between partners and create workable solutions to each challenge.
We can help you and your partner cultivate your own happiness and strong senses of self to reignite the spark that may have faded away in your relationship or marriage. Your therapist will give you the tools to apply what you have learned outside of marriage counseling sessions so that you can keep the spark ignited long after your time in therapy has ended.
But You May Still Have Questions About Couples Therapy…
What if my partner refuses to go to couples counseling and just wants to end things?
f your partner is not interested in therapy, you might not want to pursue counseling right now. Discernment Coaching may be a better place to start. Discernment coaching is a short-term approach that assists couples when one partner wants to continue a relationship, but the other partner wants to end things. This approach gives couples the opportunity to explore their options and decide which path suits them best. For more information on this service, please visit our Discernment coaching page.
Do you work with polyamorous couples?
Yes. The Therapeutic and Wellness Solution Center has three therapists on staff who are trained in providing counseling to partners who practice ethical non-monogamy or polyamory. Our therapists can help couples transition to polyamory in a way that respects the boundaries of all partners, as well as help couples determine if this is the right choice for their relationship. Our therapists do not support couples using polyamory as a guise to engage in affairs.
My partner and I live in two different locations. Can you still work with us?
Even if you do not live in the same area as your partner, we can still work with you! Our secure HIPAA-compliant telehealth platform allows couples to participate in therapy sessions from different locations. However, both members of the couple must be located in the state in which the counselor is licensed. Just make sure that you have a reliable Internet connection so that you can consistently access our video conferencing software.
You Can Revive Your Romantic Connection
If you are ready to stop living in a state of frustration, sadness, and discontent with your relationship, we are here to help. Call us at (760) 566-5516 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment with one of our trained couples counselors.
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