Has Your Relationship Lost Its Passion?
Are you happy with every aspect of your relationship—except for your sex life?
Have you shied away from talking about your sexual dissatisfaction with your partner?
Do you worry about the future of your relationship because of the lack of intimacy?
Except for the area of sex and intimacy, most of the clients and couples we work with are very happy in their relationships and marriages.
Perhaps that’s the same for you. Maybe you’re thriving in your roles as parents or enjoying a trustworthy friendship with your partner. But when romance and intimacy have all but disappeared, it can start to feel like you and your partner are merely roommates or platonic best friends.
Relationships Change And Evolve Over Time
As a couple, you’ll inevitably encounter new challenges that will impact your sex life. Having children, dealing with financial insecurity, and coping with stress at work can all affect your romantic connection. And if you’re not keeping up with healthy habits, you might even experience a decreased libido.
You or your partner may have had your needs ignored in the past, and now, you’re nervous to speak up. Perhaps you didn’t see happy relationships modeled growing up, which influenced your attachment style. Or maybe you’re dealing with resentment because of past infidelity.
All of these issues and more can interfere with your sex life. But with professional support, you can turn your relationship around. Through sex therapy, you and your partner can identify the roots of your relationship problems and revive the spark you once felt.
Most People Experience Shifts In Their Sexual Desires Over Time
It’s perfectly normal to go through dry spells in a relationship. From the outside, it might seem like other couples don’t deal with these problems, which can cause people to feel insecure about their own relationship. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. No relationship is perfect, and many couples experience lapses in intimacy at some point.
For some couples, the situation may be that they still feel strongly attracted to each other, but their desires seem mismatched, and they’re unsure how to meet the other’s needs. As a result, people worry that their days with their partner are numbered, and they fear losing the person they love most because of these differing sexual desires.
Cultivating Intimacy Again Takes Mutual Effort
It can be extremely difficult and uncomfortable to talk directly to your partner about your wants and needs, especially when your desires have changed since the start of your relationship. Sometimes, these shifts in your libido or preferences can occur slowly. It can take time to notice the changes, or it may be a sudden shift that you assume will forever alter your relationship.
At the Therapeutic and Wellness Solution Center, we know how frustrating and discouraging it can be when you have had these conversations with your partner, and you do not think that anything has changed. But the truth is that there may be more preventing your sexual connection than what you see on the surface.
Working with an experienced sex therapist can help you uncover the roots of your rift and start repairing your relationship.
Sex Therapy Can Help You Revive Your Intimate Connection
You might be nervous about pursuing sex therapy. After all, talking about your sex life with your partner to a counselor can seem awkward at first. But after you’ve had a chance to warm up to your therapist and get comfortable with honestly sharing your feelings, you’ll see just how beneficial it can be to have support from an objective third-party.
Your therapist will work with you and your partner to identify the true source of your lack of sexual gratification. They will help you to understand the dynamics that are influencing your relationship on multiple levels. The goal is to give you the tools you need to gradually make changes on an emotional, mental, and physical level. If you’re truly invested in making progress during counseling sessions, you will find new ways to meet in the middle and fulfill each other’s sexual and romantic needs.
What To Expect In Sex Therapy Sessions
Sex therapy is not a quick fix. Sessions will include applying evidenced-based techniques and best-practice approaches that help you, as an individual or couple, to reach a higher level of sexual satisfaction. But your therapist will never use or encourage detrimental approaches or fads that traumatize clients, like assigning sex as homework or pushing past safe spaces.
During your first session, you and your partner will be able to share how you’re both feeling. You’ll discuss the issues you’re currently facing in your relationship, what prompted you to seek therapy, what you want to work on, and more. Sex therapy is not about prioritizing one partner’s needs over the other—instead, your therapist will create a welcoming space where both of you can speak your minds and move forward as a team.
Treatment Approaches For Sex Therapy
Utilizing Emotion-Focused Therapy, your counselor will gently explore attachment aspects within your relationship and suggest solution-focused techniques to address specific individual needs. Sex therapy is designed to help individuals and couples to understand sexual desires and create healthy expectations and boundaries to have these desires met.
It’s not always easy to be vulnerable with your partner. But if you want to restore your relationship, you need to be willing to break down these walls. In sex therapy, you and your partner will both be able to explore what you really want out of your relationship and revive the romance you once had.
But You May Still Have Questions About Sex Therapy…
I have a history of sexual trauma, but now I’m in a safe relationship where I want to have a healthy sex life. Is sex therapy right for me?
At the Therapeutic and Wellness Solution Center, we can take a team approach when working with a client who has survived sexual trauma. This means that one of our trauma therapists and our sex therapist may work together with you to process your trauma in counseling while also helping you cultivate the sexual relationship that you desire.
I’m interested in exploring kink. Is that okay to talk about?
Yes, in sex therapy (and all forms of counseling for that matter) you need to be able to openly discuss everything. If you are interested in creating a healthy sexual dynamic that includes BDSM or any level of kink, therapy is a safe place to establish your boundaries and safety components with your partner objectively.
My partner and I have been in a long-term monogamous relationship, but now they want to explore polyamory. Should we pursue sex therapy?
Although sex may play a role in the desire to transition to a polyamorous lifestyle, it is not the only aspect. We are happy to help you and your partner to work through the sexual aspects of the transition to aspects of a polyamory relationship for one or both of you. However, relationship counseling may be a better fit for you. Please read more about our relationship counseling here.
I am experiencing Erectile Dysfunction—can you help me?
Our therapist will start with clients experiencing both Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and Premature Ejaculation (PD) by first assessing if these issues are biological or psychological in origin. This will help them create a clear treatment plan for you. If your ED or PE is biological, your therapist, with your consent, will work with your primary care doctor to address symptomatology. If your ED or PE is psychological in nature, your therapist will work with you, and possibly your partner, to identify causes and process the psychological aspects while also teaching you tools to use to increase your sexual satisfaction.
Are You Ready To Change Your Sex Life?
If you are ready to identify your sexual desires and work to make these a reality in a safe and healthy way, please contact the Therapeutic and Wellness Solution Center at (760)566-5516 to schedule a Sex Therapy session.
(Sex Therapy services are provided by Jessica Moran, LMFT.)
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