Has your relationship changed so much that you cannot even recognize it?
Do you continue to have the same fight over and over again, each time thinking it will be the last time, only to have it happen yet again because your partner still hasn’t heard you?
Has the intimacy vanished, even though you both say that you miss it?
Is divorce in the back of our mind because you can’t imagine your life continuing this way but the actual ideal of divorce is so frightening that you feel frozen?
It can feel overwhelming to look back at your relationship when things were “easy” and compare them to how you feel today. Maybe this is before kids, before the stress of career, maybe even before a relationship altering affair. When the effortless stages of a relationship end and the day-to-day stressors take over, it can be easy to fall into negative cycles, poor communication, and roommate relationships. When you don’t know how to fix the dynamics, frustrations continue to build as our needs are not met and you may start thinking about separation or divorce.
Most couples go through shifts in their level of connection
As time goes and your life becomes more demanding your relationship will feel these growing pains. Maybe it was a promotion at work that came with longer hours, an aging parent moving in, or the birth of a child. No matter what the shift in your life was / is you and your partner have internalized the experience(s) differently and it is making you feel less connected. Less support. Less love. Less Trust.
When you do not feel connection, support, love and trust it will impact your attachment within the relationship and you and your partner begin to pull away from each other. Communication breaks down, intimacy disappears, and stress increases which causes you to feel less connection, support, love and trust. This is the toxic relationship cycle and it is more common than you know. You learn to live in it until it is just too much and you are ready to make a change.
You do not have to stay in a toxic relationship cycle
Most every couple will experience a toxic relationship cycle within the course of their relationship. Some couples are able to self-correct while some need assistance to learn new ways of looking at a challenge. Our goal is to give you and your partner a safe and caring space to be able to identify the true source of your toxic relationship cycle, teach you both the tools you will need to break this cycle, and ways to protect your relationship from entering the cycle again in the future.
The Therapeutic and Wellness Solution Center’s therapists work with couples from different perspectives based on their training and experience, over their 15+ years of experience. Our therapists are trained in or pull from the following approaches:
Emotion Focused Therapy: Used to go deeper than surface level conflicts to discover the underlying attachment challenges within the relationship to create a better more satisfying connection
Gottman Approach: A way to increase total communication and reduce conflict by creating understanding and empathy for one another
Family Systems: Used to assist couples is working through conflict by resolving the challenges from the context of the family
Solution Focused: A way to identify and address the exact challenges preventing connection and creating solutions to each challenge
Our therapists will meet with you and your partner to get a better understanding of the toxic relationship cycle that you are stuck in and choose the approach that will be the best to help you to finally put an end to these cycles so that you can move forward with connection, support, love, and trust.
We can help you and your partner to find your own individual levels of happiness and a strong sense of self to reignite the spark that may have faded away in your marriage and give you the tools to use outside of a marriage counseling session so that you can keep the spark ignited long after your time in couples counseling has ended.
The questions of marriage counseling
What if my partner refuses to go to marriage counseling and just wants to end things?
If your partner is not interested in marriage counseling, marriage counseling may not be
the best option for you both. A better place to start may be Discernment Coaching.
Discernment coaching is a short-term approach that assists couples when one member is
wanting to stay in the marriage and the other member is wanting to end the marriage. The goal
for this approach is to help couples understand their options and to find the path that is right for both partners. For more information on this service please visit our Discernment coaching page.
Do you work with polyamorous couples?
Yes. The Therapeutic and Wellness Solution Center has 3 therapists that are trained in providing couples counseling to couples who practice ethical non monogamy or polyamory. Our therapists are able to help couples transition to polyamory in a way to respect the boundaries of all partners. Our therapists however do not support couples using polyamory as a guise to engage in an affair(s).
My partner and I are living in two different locations. Can you still work with us?
Our secure HIPAA compliant telehealth platform allows for couples to participate in therapy sessions from different locations. However, both members of the couples must be located in the state that the therapist is licensed in.
You can regain the relationship you desire.
If you are ready to no longer live in a state of frustration, sadness, and discontent with your relationship we will be here to help. Call us at (760) 566-5516 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment with one of our trained couples’ therapists.